Our Perfect Fit: Grace Shuying

By Amy Gimre

When we began the process of adopting Grace we decided to request a child with no special needs. We already had two children and thought requesting a child with special needs would be more than we could handle. Our paperwork was sent to China in June of 2001. At that time the wait for a healthy child from China was- About 12 to 14 months. Since our wait would be long, we decided to go on with our daily lives but read and get ready for our third child in as many ways as we could.

On September 5, 2001 we got word that Journeys had received its special needs list from China. On that list were ten beautiful children including a ten-month-old little girl who was destined to change our lives forever.

The moment I saw the picture of Shuying (Grace) I knew she would be our daughter. She seemed to be the perfect fit for our family and my husband thought the same. Grace was born with a cleft palate, so we immediately contacted two surgeons who routinely perform the corrective surgery. The most serious concern would be that her speech could be affected as she grew older. After talking to our two other children, we all agreed that Grace was the one for us.

After signing all the paperwork informing the CCAA of our intent to adopt Grace, the wait until we traveled in January 2002 was excruciating. Knowing that Grace was waiting for us and we could not immediately jump on a plane to go get her was unbearable! The day finally came and we could not have been happier. Our trip to China was one of the best experiences of our lives. Upon returning home I had the most wonderful feeling, looking at our three children, that our family was now complete.

Even though we knew from the beginning that Grace would need surgery to repair her cleft palate, when the time actually came, my resolve wavered. I’m not sure how to describe this feeling but now that Grace was home and trying to adjust to her new life, the last thing I wanted was to cause her any pain. This was probably the most difficult part for me, when adopting a child with special needs.

Grace had her cleft palate repaired on February 13, 2002. The surgery was a success and even though the surgeon told us there may be a need for further surgery we were optimistic that that would be her last. Unfortunately, we were wrong.

For a year, Grace was in speech therapy twice a week for an hour at our home. The therapist did a great job, but at one point she told us she thought Grace’s palate was insufficiently long. What this meant was that any plosive sound (p, b, etc.) would be impossible for Grace to say, no matter how much therapy she received. This was a very frustrating time for both Grace and the rest of our family. No matter how hard she tried, she could not form words correctly. Because we could not understand her, we would ask her to repeat what she had told us, but after the second time of repeating a sentence she would simply tell us “Never mind.” This broke all of our hearts. We took Grace back

 to the surgeon and found that indeed she would need a second surgery to correct her severe speech impediment.

So, on March 10, 2003 Grace had a second surgery on her palate. Grace was in so much pain she had to stay in the hospital for two nights. Those were the longest two nights of my life. It was heart-wrenching to watch her in such pain and not be able to take that pain away.

As awful as that second surgery was, the results were truly amazing! Within a week Grace was attempting to make most of her sounds. One year later, Grace is in a preschool for children with special needs and receives speech therapy almost daily. She is improving significantly and should be out of therapy by the time she starts kindergarten.

For such a tiny person, she snored very loudly. While on vacation this past summer we all slept in a hotel room together and we noticed that Grace was not just snoring but thrashing throughout the night. When we returned from vacation, we took her back again to the surgeon. After a sleep study determined that she was experiencing severe sleep apnea, they decided she needed her tonsils and adenoids removed. Although this was the easiest of the surgeries, since it was the third, we were rather frazzled. However, Grace did great and is now sleeping “like a baby” again.

Even though adopting a child with special needs has been difficult, I would not change a thing. Grace has an infectious laugh and a mischievous sense of humor that puts a smile on our face every day.

I’m not sure what would have happened had we adopted a child without a special need but for us Grace has turned out to be the perfect fit for our family.

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