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Heartstrings, the journal of
Journeys Of The Heart Adoption Services, is published semi-annually.
Heartstrings Online features stories from recent editions.
Playgroups!
By Kerry Malinger
(Editor’s note: Journeys salutes Illinois board member Kerry Malinger
for her year of amazing work organizing the Chicagoland playgroup.)
January marked the
end of the first year of the JOH Chicagoland playgroup. In this first
year the group has grown and we have made many new friends. We are
always looking for additional families to join us.
After coming home
from China in September, 2004, with our beautiful daughter Grace, our
focus changed from the adoption process to raising a happy healthy
child. I had read that an early understanding of adoption and heritage
by our daughter was going to be important. My husband and I wanted to
use all possible resources to help us as a family, as very soon Grace
would notice that we were different.
Around town, those
first few months, we began running into other families who were formed
through international adoption. A week didn’t pass that we did not meet
another child from China or someone who knew a child who was adopted
internationally. Many families in our area shared our “difference” and
the parents we met believed that having our children come together
regularly would be beneficial to them.
After receiving
encouragement from the JOH Glen Ellyn Office, our playgroup was formed
by a group of parents that came into contact by chance in person and on
the internet. One year later, we are still going strong. We meet twice
monthly on the first Saturday and the third Monday of each month. Some
of our activities have included trips to parks, zoos and children’s
museums, a backyard barbeque, and playtime in family homes.
The benefits we
have seen to our children have been great. The kids have had the
opportunity to form friendships and play together. They have been able
to observe other families who resemble their own. At one
particular outing, one of our six-year-olds said that she was so happy
to be there that day because she was going to be with “her girls from
China.” Our children have been able to share a special bond with other
kids just like them, which will hopefully lead to each of them
developing a strong sense of self.
What I didn’t
expect were the benefits I would receive as a parent.
Through the
playgroup, I have met some of the kindest people I have come to know. I
have benefited from socializing with other adoptive families. We have
shared not only adult conversation, but also adoption resources and
referrals. We can talk- About things that others just don’t seem to
understand. Parents offer their support and reassurance to each other.
Other parents can remind you that you are not the only parent who has
had to deal with an issue. Attachment,
racial discrimination, and separation
anxiety are just a few of the topics that we have discussed with our
playgroup friends and I have gained valuable insight from these
conversations. Additionally, we have been able to pool our creativity
to come up with activities that are fun for the children and instill
pride in their heritage.
The playgroup has
really become like an extended family. I know that the group will
continue to play a positive role in my daughter’s self-image. It gives
us a connection to other adoptive families. Although we are different,
we are different in a special wonderful way. The playgroup will
continue to normalize our children’s experiences,
 and
will enable our children to make lifelong friendships.
Thank you to all
of the families who have participated in the playgroup and particularly
to those who have provided ideas for activities and opened up their
homes to all of the families.
We look forward to
another year of getting together with our playgroup friends.
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